Loving the Kid in the Blue Coat

Tonight, something unexpected happened.

While going through old family photos, I came across a picture of myself from around 1985 — a kid in a blue coat and red pants. I’ve seen old photos before, but this one stopped me. I didn’t analyze it. I didn’t joke about it. I just sat with it.

And for the first time in years, I said something to that kid that I didn’t realize I had been withholding from myself:

“I love you.”

Not because of what you’ll become.Not in spite of what you’ll go through.Just — I love you.

That moment cracked something open.

I realized I’ve spent much of my adult life being hard on myself, holding myself to impossible standards, and offering grace to everyone else while quietly denying it to myself. I’ve laughed a lot, helped others, reflected deeply, prayed often — yet somehow skipped over loving myself the way I would love someone else.

Real love, I realized, isn’t ignorance.It’s not pretending flaws don’t exist.

Real love is knowing everything about someone — and loving them anyway.

That includes the awkward years, the questions, the parts that didn’t fit, the moments that didn’t make sense at the time. That kid didn’t need fixing. He needed acceptance.

And tonight, I gave it to him.

I shared this moment with my mom, and her joy confirmed something important: this wasn’t self-indulgence. This was healing. A bridge crossed. A weight set down.

Faith has always mattered deeply to me. Prayer has always been my anchor. But tonight reminded me that loving myself doesn’t compete with faith — it honors the work God has already done.

If you’re reading this and you’ve never told your younger self “I love you,” maybe pause for a moment. You don’t have to rewrite your past to accept it. You don’t have to perform to be worthy.

Sometimes the most radical thing you can do is offer yourself the same grace you freely give to others.

Tonight, I did.

And it changed me.